Lucy Grey: Gendernaut

mynameislyddy: Hey, I was just wondering, as you seem to have grown as a person or something recently. IDK how to say it, but it's a compliment. Anyway, do you still ID as an androgyne, and what pronouns do you prefer now? I can't remember your pronouns, anyway, and refer to you in my head with they/them. I think of most people as they/them, anyway.

:) I don’t know about growing as a person so much, but I think I’ve sort of leveled up in my understanding of myself in this gender quest I’m on. When I first started, I was investigating IDs, trying to find one that fit me. I liked androgyne and genderqueer. Actually, my favorite is still gendernaut. But that was early on. I had no idea what I wanted, was just exploring and trying to figure myself out. I wasn’t sure if transition was right for me, was hoping that I could “get by” with some occasional crossdressing. But that occasional has become much less occasional. And “getting by” has become much harder, now that I’m better able to recognize my dysphoria. Dysphoria is becoming a real problem, and for the past several months, I’ve been actively searching for a course of transition that’s right for me. Transition. As in, move my everyday presentation (which is still primarily that of a man, as far as the public world is concerned) to that of a woman. A genderqueer woman, to be sure, but transition is something I want to pursue. There are a lot of things going on in my life right now: most importantly, a wedding in less than 8 months, so transition in earnest will probably have to wait until after that.

Anyway, introspection and excuses aside: my preferred pronouns are feminine: she/her, unless otherwise specified. On tumblr and my twitter acct, DEFINITELY she/her. In meat space, it depends on how I’m presenting.

…And I guess here’s as good a place as any to note that I’m reconsidering my current chosen name. Or rather, I’m considering a permutation of it. I’ll let you all know about it with another longwinded post soon. 

Thanks for the very kind compliment, Lyddy. :) And for asking my preferred pronouns. (To tell the truth, I don’t believe I ever specified them.) To recap: I see myself as a genderqueer woman, as opposed to a genderqueer androgyne, and I prefer she/her pronouns online. :) More to come about my name later!